Suzanne, this is so beautiful and admirable. I'm just not there. I don't pressure them, and I don't make snarky remarks when they make other plans...but my kids know me too well..they know that I would rather have them with us for every holiday...but they also know I understand and wish them well if they can't join us. My sister is the same and we think it might have something to do with the fact that our dad died 2 days before Christmas when we were young, and our mom became unstable after that. but no matter how I feel, I act appropriately 🙂 Thank God! On another note, When our son said they probably weren't coming this year I handled it well...but he texted yesterday morning and said "hey did you hear the news, we're coming in town for Christmas Eve!" It's a Christmas miracle. Both kids, and their spouses all 6 grandkids, My sister, niece, her husband and their 4 kids are all coming! Silence is Golden...I'm glad I kept my mouth shut. Thanks for this wonderful essay...your kids are lucky to have such an understanding mother. Thanks for all your work in editing my piece. I really appreciate it! Happy Holidays Suzanne. And thanks for "listening" 😉